A journey in my head that I finally decided to conquer in reality. Several inspiring stories, podcasts, and ideas on living on less, minimalism, conscious capitalism, financial independence etc has always been on the back of my head, but never really did anything with serious intent about but for the occasional eBay sales, or bags of donation to a local charity.
I had always loved to shop, until quite recently, a few years back when I had my second child, we also moved to a home with smaller closet space and truly due to lack of time and not having patience to find parking, standing in long lines, I realized that shopping did not give me as much enjoyment as it did before. I resorted to shopping online instead. It was better controlled decision then before, but I did end up with stuff that don't fit just quite right, or was the one other black cardigan on sale, that I need to have as back up, just in case... I like to invest on high quality clothing made of natural fabrics, preferably via ethical means, and so they tend to get quite expensive.
Juggling with a full time career, and a growing family, left me exhausted by the end of the day with energy to do nothing but, to browse Pinterest and dream on ideas that I could possibly get to do some day with my family. The days roll by, and nothing much really happens except for the occasional projects I do with my kids. I'm in admiration of those that are able to effectively filter out what's most important for them and prioritize their lives accordingly. I spend three hours on the road each day, audiobooks and podcasts are my best friends. Early this year, I stumbled across a talk on how one couple freed up a significant amount of time and energy by simply removing things from their lives that they don't use. While cleaning the garage one day and spending most of my Saturday organizing it, I was reminded of the talk, and I realized how true it held for me.
Come weekends, Saturday morning being my cleaning day, I take this time to straighten the house, kids stuff, refrigerator cleanup, pantry cleanup or a massive garage organization. I spend on an average 4-5 hours on a Saturday, and often recruit my daughter in doing this. In parallel, I am tending to my kitchen garden, weeding, deep watering, processing my harvest (freezing, dehydrating, cooking) and also in parallel fixing a nice lunch. By afternoon I have no energy to go to the farmers market that I so wished to, and I am exhausted, grumpy, tired and in need of a nap. The weekend goes by with socializing, grocery shopping, temple visits, and before I know it its Sunday evening, and there is discontent within me with unfinished chores - pile of laundry waiting to be folded, prep work for the work week, scheduling decisions to be made, with me left wondering, if I really did anything useful over the weekend!
Several small triggers led up to the event of finally deciding to take action, but here are the big ones:
- my second pregnancy and lack of interest in shopping for stuff. We had three glass baby feeding bottles for the first 3 years, and I can't state enough oh how much doable or easy it is to have less stuff to deal with. More on this on another blog, for another day.
- my mothers abrupt passing away and having to clean up her stuff in my parents place was emotionally draining to say the least.
- more recently the fire at Santa Rosa and how lives turned upside down.
- daily triggers of "I have nothing to wear". I have a ton of clothes, but not wanting to spend the energy on making a decision on coordinating items, I always select the same 2 pairs of jeans and a handful of tops, and one earring, and the same handbag , and later wonder why I cannot dress up better than this, despite owning a closet full of beautiful clothes.
I sat back and asked myself what I like to do more of, where do I want to put my energy into, what is it that I truly value etc. Here are some from my journal:
- spend more quality time with my family - hiking, doing projects together, working on a math problem together, or generally just chit chatting and hanging out with each other as a family
- walk to the farmers market on saturday mornings - its two blocks away, and one of the reasons why we loved our home was proximity to downtown and hiking trails, none of which we have been consistently been at since we moved.
- cook nurturing, and fresh meals for us to eat
- pursue my hobbies - garden and paint consistently
- blog consistently
- expand my mental capacity to excel in my career
- volunteer consistently
- feel good about my appearance, without having to spend too much effort or time
- nurture myself - emotionally, physically, spiritually; More specifically, read books, go to the library more often, foot baths, self pedicures, meditate, exercise, hike, meet friends and hang out with them.
What was I doing instead?
- organizing things I possibly might need some day
- organizing things I never will use, but hanging on to it for the emotional aspect
- cooking elaborate time consuming meals
- losing my head over the 100 things that I couldn't get to
This is how I decided to tackle some of my immediate issues:
Challenge: simplify cooking process and yet feed wholesome meals
Solution: OPOS techniques and instant pot. We are vegetarians, and with a bit of planning ahead the staples, most well balanced dinners are completed in 20 minutes.
Challenge: free up time to do what I really want to do
Solution: minimize stuff, dispose accumulated junk, eliminate clutter, and generally keep it less, simple, and useful ...translates to less stuff to deal with and manage; more energy to do what I really want.
Last year, I read Marie Kondo's book and although I did not do a massive cleanup, I did pick one useful aspect of folding clothes the right way, such that it neatly fits in a drawer. This has worked like magic, and has helped in tidying our wardrobes to a large extent. My dressers remain in the same condition even after a year, which pretty neat.
I tackled my work wardrobe as my first step in the minimizing efforts, as it was one of the lesser daunting tasks. I went ahead to create a capsule wardrobe of 50 pieces including shoes, accessories, clothes for Fall / Winter wear. I took pictures of the various combinations and do consult them when I am not so sure. As a result, I am better dressed than before, use many of my clothes without feeling guilty, regularly accessorize and generally feel good about myself. I save time each morning, and yet better dressed than before. I simply shopped in my own closet, packed away the stuff I might possibly wear in next 6 months, selling some, and donating the rest. It was a bit emotional, and by the end of it, I was mentally tired, but it was quite liberating once I got past the hump.
My next step is to tackle my home wardrobe, and the huge collection of indian clothes accumulated over 20 years, many of which have a story in it. I am bracing myself to be ready to gracefully part with.
More of my adventures in my next blog!
Questions for the readers:
1. What were some of the events in your life, that triggered in finding your core values?
2. How do you deal effectively deal with stuff that have slowly and deliberately accumulated over time?
3. Do you have a specific routine that has exceptionally worked well for you?
Thank you for reading my story!
